looking at the different me’s to see if i can tell?????

 wow what a difference in the face but not as much in the rest of the body.

at a wedding 12/2007

at another wedding 07/2008– seven months later

wedding 12/2007

where to go from here….

ok so lets just say i dont know where i am going wrong. i have been stuck in a limbo for over a month now, not losing more than a pound in a month!!! i mean come on im not eating horrible, im actually working out more, and im still working really hard. About a month ago i started walking three miles a day, five days a week. Thisi s no small feat for many reasons- 1st- my shoes sucked and i had a horrible blister for two weeks, 2nd- its 100 degrees here, 3rd- the humidity here is at least 40% everyday- and unless you have experienced this- you have no clue- literally the humidity makes you feel that you are wearing a wet blanket from the moment you walk outside. so yeah ive been working out for over and month and i know that when you start a new regime that you might have a weight gain from muscles but its been over a month and still no weight loss. so where am i going wrong? i eat roughly 1800 calories a day, eat one ‘cheat’ meal a week, and yet, i am not losing the weight.

so another issue i am battling- when i look in the mirror- i am not seeing any weight change from seven months ago when i first started this lifestyle change. Whenever i am around people from work- they are constantly calling me skinny or making comments on the weight loss, but i just cant see it- which makes it really hard for me feel motivated. i mean i know that i have to do this and that im not going back, but sometimes i really need the mental encouragement from looking inthe mirror and seeing the results from seven months of hard work. two weeks ago i went on vacation with my parents, little sister, and grandfather and my grandfather actually randomly one day commented on my weight loss!!! it is weird because he is in the early stages of losing his mind and yet he noticed my weight loss (all 65 pounds of it) and yet i cant see it?! what is wrong with me??? if anyone has gone through this or has any tips that migh help please let me know- im in the process of trying to get a nutritionist appointment so i can figure out what is wrong with me that i have not lost weight in a month and that i dont see the weightloss at all!!! any words of knowledge would be greatly appreciated. –Amanda

new beginnings and ponderings

so the past few weeks have been interesting. i have made a lot of decisions and found out a lot of information- for instance- i got into grad school and won a grant that will pay for tuition and pay a stipend of around 11,000 dollars each year for two years and all i have to do is work at the department of child and family services for my internship and for two years after i graduate. i am so excited about that because if you read the last post you know i am struggling with moving back home and with the grant i dont have to move back nearly as soon and have any where near the amount of debt that i had planned.

so i am starting school at uga in august and well growing up- all my family hated uga- we are all auburn and georgia tech people so i was indifferent to uga and not too interested in anything other than the education but as i have now been up to campus twice and really gotten to know the school i think i am going to like it. uga is best in the nation for gymnastics and baseball and well their football team is crazy good too so i have that to look forward to but also the feeling of being there is amazing.

next topic- i have been working on the weight loss but as i have already known and yet still get upset by- i am losing less weight the more i have lost overall. i know that the closer you get to your goal weight even though i am about 75 pounds away, i am not losing the weight as fast as i wouuld like. i am averaging around 8 pounds a month lost but its still nice. one issue that i am having is dealing with my body- i watch my friend lose her weight a year ago and saw how her self esteem grew and how she seemed to lose it soo fast but looking at me and hearing people at work tell me how skinny im getting (which im not yet by any standard) i feel so fat- i feel that im always goin to be the fat one in any group. i hate feeling like im sooooo fat and that all these months and effort is not getting me any skinnier. i know i have lost almost 63 pounds but for some reaason i just dont see it and even less when standing by a skinnier friend. when will i finally feel skinny? when will i finally have a healthy self esteem??? am i always going to hate my body and feel like a blob??????? any help?

changing the world around me…

So i dont know if i posted this before but i found out a few weeks ago that i did not receive financial assistance for grad school and will now be going pretty badly into debt trying to pay for school, living expenses, and most of all gas since it is an 1.15 hour drive there and then another the way back. so for the past two weeks i have been really struggling and lets face it- alittle bit of sympathy eating(rarely but enough to slow the weight loss), and then suprisingly going through a phase that is so new to me (that i thought i was sick) where i dont want to eat at all!! well i have been making some decisions-and suprisingly doing prety well since my closest friend has pretty much walked away recently, but i have made some decisions that are about to drastically change my life- i had a conversation with my parents and ive decided to move home.

I have decided to give it till the end of the summer to figure out financials and try to earn money but it somehing doesnt turn up- im moving back to my parents house where i have no friends and hate the city, but would not be in NEARLY the financial debt. this is a huge step because i am going to be leaving friends that are my life, people that have been there for me through everything, and always been my cheerleading squad. any suggestions would be great!!!-Amanda

back from a leave of absense…

hey guys im not sure who actually reads this thing but im writing after a crazy past couple of weeks. first off i just graduated from college this morning. it was interesting. i wasnt excited until i put the gown and cap on this morning and it was typical georgia weather- about 80% humidiy, severe chances of thunderstorms, and temperatures in the 80’s by 9am. i had fun, got to see people i hadnt seen in awhile but at the same time got to end an era in my life and start a new one – graduate school next year.

so next subject- weightloss- so i went through that plateau for a couple weeks and am now losing weight which is nice. i am now at 253-254. i went home a few weeks ago to my doctor that i went to in high school and found out the weights i was from freshman year up and surprisingly i weighed about 245 my freshman year and it has been eight years since then and i am almost back to that weight. i cant wait to be making amazing transformations and see weights i havent seen since middle school. im working out most days- trying to get in atleast 4-5 workouts a week- working so hard. i bought a taebo video and have another video from my exercise ball that i ahve been working out with. They are killing me but that is a good thing so i can make that change i want to be. i also had been thinking about buying this new gadget that is on tv that is supposed to make your breasts firmer and lifted and did my research and found that just doing certain weight exercises does the same hing so i am using 5lb weights and doing some basic exercises that i hope will work because to go from 300lbs and have size E breasts- you need all tthe help you can get in that area. well guys i am working toward getting my life together and making myself finally happy with the way i look and feel. let me know if you have any suggestions or ideas for ab workouts where you will get some intense work done without feeling like you are doing it wrong!!!

finally…

so this morning i woke up after a really rough two weeks- plateauing for 8 days then gaining two pounds is the hardest thing to go through right now since im about to graduate from college in A WEEK! so this morning i woke up after having worked out pretty hard last night -first time doing taebo with a friend and i had lost weight! im officially in the 50’s! it has been long coming. the last time i weighed this little (sad to say) was my senior year of high school -4 years ago!! i can’t wait to keep going and hit marks i havent seen in YEARS. so today, four days till im done with my undergraduate degree and ive lost 1.2 pounds in a week- that would sound sad to most people but to me- that is the huge boost i needed to make it through the week! lets hope i dont hit another one of those plateaus for a while!

plateau…

ok so this week has been interesting. i weighed in last wednesday at 260.6 and was excited because i was sooooo close to the 50’s and being out of the 60’s well then this week started. every morning i get up and weigh myself and for the past seven days i have been at the same weight. one morning i woke up and weighed 260.4 but then a minute later went back and weighed 260.6!!! i know that plateaus are normal and that we all go through them- ive had them too but for seven days! i mean come on not even an ounce has changed. today at work i was talking with some co-workers and they were like well look at it this way- next week you’ll lose  a ton to make up for it! so im looking forward to that but at the same time if i wake up tomorrow morning and weigh 260.6 again, i dont know what im going to do- maybe throw the scale at the wall???? gurr…

oh how i’ll miss you…

ok so to start off the post- i lost 2.4 pounds this week which is awesome! could have lost more had i not ate the sugar free pudding or the little more than needed dinners but any loss is great especially a 2.4 loss.

so now on to the important thing- Tales From the Scales is leaving!!!! im so lost for those that dont know what im talking about- tales from the scales is a blog that is devoted to weight loss and fitness with a weekly weigh-in. It has been a huge support, great companion, and amazing help to keep me motivated and i dont know what i am going to do without the support and love that i got from the people from Tales from the scales. when i found out, i went online and tried to find other sites that were similar and lets just say… there is NOTHING ANYTHING LIKE IT OUT THERE!!! well lets hope things work out… im going to miss it!

what the??!!!…….

haha so today i went out and bought a workout ball(i already had one but my lil sister stole it) that came with a dvd workout session and i was so excited- spent $5 more than the other one that was available and when i went to blow it up to work out on it…. i saw that it said to not exceed 250lbs!! well that keeps me from being able to use it! i weigh 263 right now and thats 13 over. so what, am i supposed to just lose all this weight then be able to use it??? what to do????

weekly weigh-in

WOW! um… so i went on vacation this week and went all over the city, hitting the best attractions and sites and was trying to be good on my diet but i had a FEW slip-ups and by the end of the week i was completely disgusted with myself. When i came back, the next morning when i weighed myself i nearly cried- i had lost three pounds and since being back for two days- i have lost two more! i am down 4.8 pounds this week! i am not 42 pounds down!!!!

i was working out last night in front of the mirror- watching myself and excited and joyed and then grossed out and disgusted at the same time. i am losing weight in places that havent been this tiny in years yet at the same time the major roll of fat(my inner tube) doesnt seem to be getting smaller- i mean i know that it is but the general shape is the same and its really disgusting. so… im sore today in my neck-im guessing i need to calm down on my exercises enough to let my muscles relax and  catch up. my arms are getting smaller and im really excited about that- i hate my arms and want them not to giggle every time i move and when im at work i dont want to be self concious when i raise my arms to get something. ugh. well im off to take on the next week- making sure not to eat out this week or the last two days- i need to take focus of me and not worry about feeling bad because my friends want to eat out and i cant. i have to get me in order…