I am pretty sure no one reads this anymore but i needed to write some thoughts down and if anyone does read it- replies, suggestions, or simply a hello would be greatly appreciated. so its November 18, 2008 and I am sitting here finishing watching the biggest loser and having moments of contemplation. So it has been right under 11 months of weight loss/journey and i have lost roughly 80 pounds. I would say 82 pounds but im being honest here and saying that these past couple of weeks have been rough and i have been swaying. I am lost and i dont know what to do. I have hit a large plateau if you want to call it that but i have swayed from 231-223 for three weeks now and it is starting to damage me to the point that well first i am a constant scale checker where i check my weight sometimes four times in a day( i know that is bad but whatever- get over it! thats who i am-OCD) so the weight issue over the last couple of weeks has now gotten me to where i dont even weigh myself. I went two days without even acknoledging the scale and i am scared. I am scared that i will be stuck here at 2?? forever! will i always be obese? will i ever feel beautiful? I am scared that i will be perpetually alone…… i have been single my entire life(22 years) and always thought that someone would come along and love me, make me feel special and loved but as i am out of college and now in grad school, most of my friends are married (all by three) and most are pregnant. I am starting to wonder if i will ever find that person that loves me. Will i always have to wonder what if? Will a guy ever love me for who i am- no matter whether i am fat or not???
So i have been thinking about why i havent lost weight and am completely stumped. I am eating about 1500-1800 calories a day and exercising- its not hardcore all the time but when i do workout-3-4 times a week- you would be proud- i never walk away not completely drenched in sweat. Will i always be fat? Does it matter what i do? No matter how much i work out, i have not lost weight!!! i just came back from a conference and worked out hardcore for the three days, and worked out the week before, but guess what? came back gaining weight and havent lost it since. what to do? please help if you have read this cause i am really feeling like i am about to lose the battle…
November 19, 2008 at 7:13 pm
1) I read your blog, and your on my bloglines so you popped up today. So keep on writing, it is very theraputic.
2) I’m glad you had a great time at the wedding. You are beautiful and people noticing always gives you that special warm gooey feeling we all need, so bask in it.
3) Your body is rebelling. It is going into starvation mode and is trying to settle in the 230s. Keep your eye on the prize. You have accomplished so much this year. Don’t you dare give up, or I’ll have to come over from blog land and knock some sense into you. You having a nasty plateau and everyone has them. Google plateau and get some advice. Some people suggest bumping up the calories. You have more muscle than fat now. Muscle burns calories. If you don’t eat, then the body tries to save the fat you have while the muscles are burning the calories. Go to spark people or fitday and find out how many calories you should be eating. Put 230 as you new starting weight and go from there.
4) God has a plan and a purpose for you. I had the same questions about finding that perfect love. Every girl has them. Mine were answered at 28yr old to a wonderful man who get this… THOUGHT IF YOU WORE A SIZE 16, YOU WERE ANERXIC (SP?). Go figure, he loved me in all my 270 lbs glory and now is my biggest cheerleader. He wants me to be healthier for him and the kiddos now. He’ll love me if I never lose a pound. That is who you want. Don’t think you have to weigh 135 to have true love. Just be you.
Anywho, I’m praying you keep up the good work. Hugs
Sandy
November 19, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Sandy i wish i could go to your site but i want to thank you so much for all the amazing words you have given me! you have no clue how much it means to me to hear advice and have someone understand! thank you so much!!!
November 20, 2008 at 4:32 am
I’m with Sandy…you’re at a plateau. It won’t be that way forever. And yes, sometimes you have to temporarily bump up your calories (I had to do that for a 48 hr period once). Google it and see what advice you find, but go with what you feel is best for your body.
Love. So tricky. I married at 22. My best friend from high school is getting married in February. We’re 31. She’s an amazing Christian woman, not to mention smart, sweet, funny, pretty, (and has always been thin). I thought for sure she’d be married before me…but that wasn’t God’s timing. I just want to encourage you with that because a great marriage is worth holding out for. Unconditional love is worth it. And you have the opportunity to define who YOU are as an INDIVIDUAL right now.
Anyways, sorry to babble on…You are doing a great job. Do NOT give up!
November 22, 2008 at 1:58 am
I would love to have you stop by. I have a very corny blog but it’s mine, lol.
http://www.aworkingmomsjoy.wordpress.com